Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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