you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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