the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
