I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
