I am puke
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
