We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
