she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
