So drunk its hurt
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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