he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
