I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
