I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
