Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love you. Go after that dick
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
