Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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