Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
