Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
