i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
