i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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