I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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