I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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