she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
