your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
