I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
