She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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