I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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