yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
