explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
