People with herpes should wear stickers.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
