Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
