she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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