seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
