I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
