He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Iโm not closing myself off theย to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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