i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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