Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
