I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
