Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I understand Curling. That high.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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