i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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