so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just threw up on my dentist
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
