I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I touched a dick in church today
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
