if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
