so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
