Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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