I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
