Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Barsexuality is the new black.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
