I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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