You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
