i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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