i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
