I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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