would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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