I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
