If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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