She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
