actually, I'm a sock model
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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