I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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