just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
