i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
