He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
