you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
